| Friendship. |
[Nov. 24th, 2007|07:48 pm] |
Is it just there after saying "hey you, i want to be your friend", or is there more to it? A friendship is built based on trust, as well as the ability to understand and accept each other for who we are. Friendship is not about lying, taking sides, to criticize anyone of the clique, neglecting or attacking each other behind each individual's backs. It is about being able to sit down and talk things out when things go wrong, communicating which includes sharing problems and views about others or the friend himself/herself, catching up with life, having fun, being there for each other, etc. Every friend of ours makes mistakes, be it a serious one or small one. And before taking sides and jumping to conclusions, try to figure out why the mistake was made. Putting ourselves into another party's shoes before deciding if we are going to criticize or do anything about this matter, be it hurting or harsh, to them is important. And by important, i mean it. Which also makes it the time to put the WH questions into good use. If you have him/her by you now, do treasure and work things out while you can. Don't only start to regret, treasure them, reminisce the past when they're gone, because it'll be just, too late to apologize. Right now, I can merely visualize the hurt that's in the eyes of the both of you and do nothing else, because till now, i still can't bring myself to speak.
I'm sorry.
Because its true, i am nothing without you.
Its been 2 months, and i'm still sober. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 23rd, 2007|03:36 pm] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | Listening |
| | promise by matchbook romance | ] |
I'm tired. My eyes are half opened as i'm typing this. "Oh good grief" said Coach when she heard about their overall score, she doesn't deserve this. A difference of 43, that's terrible. Its funny to see how they could still laugh and smile, like as if the difference was 4 or 3. I haven't pierced my ears in say 8 years and it was scary. My stomach was churning and my heart was beating fast. I was merely scaring myself because it wasn't painful. (lol) I have an all chapter math test tomorrow morning and i've barely started revising for it. Right. I haven't showered, and i stink so badly, so yes goodbye.
I felt like i lost everything when i lost you |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2007|10:46 pm] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
I know you're reading.
I can't believe the fact that i actually allowed a portion tears to fall after talking to Ferlin last night. We talked, and those tears yearned to fall on me once more. 70% is really too fast, too fast to be believed and it wasn't the number i had in my mind. I felt as though someone gave me a tight slap on my face and said "HAHA, WHO DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK YOU WERE?". Yes that. I said IT. ("I hate to say this, but i miss you") I said things that i wasn't supposed to say and it was so wrong, so so so wrong. And now i find it pointless to have said all those rubbish because it won't change anything. In my case, wishful thinking is really unhealthy and agonizing. Have you experienced this feeling, when your tummy churns, your heart beats like as if there's no tomorrow, and you get all anxious and emotional -- because of a person? I know i did. All those oh so sweet words that i've heard recently was not pleasing to the ears but only irritating, because it didn't come from you. I'm stuck at this point called the big fat zero. It all happened so quickly that i couldn't catch up with the pace. I'm still here and not moving and that's a bad thing.
I want a time machine. I want to turn the hands of time towards the past. I want to amend those mistakes i've made, big or small. I want to be happy like before. I don't want to have sleepless nights. I want another chance. Another chance to start all over again.
People like me experience wishful thinking, and emphasize on wishful because like its obviously not coming true.
Blabbing about the same thing over and over again, and if its annoying, don't read.
And I can't breathe without you here
For fear I'll catch your scent.
And we both know how bad I get.
I don't do well or dwell in change.
And don't you know that
Three small words could make this all okay |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2007|10:38 am] |
| [ | Listening |
| | gone so young | ] |
You reminisce not.
The rapturous past meant nothing.
Sometimes, failing to recall does us good.
Absent for a moment, or two. |
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